The Journal of Oliver T. Wood

I'm moving forward with GLAAWW despite Rita's column.  Now more then ever I can not run.  I have to stand firm in who I am in order to show Draco that I lov-- that I care about him.  I want him to become that man he wants to be. The man who sheds the Malfoy stigma and is liberated in the world...a contributor...a man with a heart.  The heart that only I see.   I am slighlty concerned though.  He hasn't mentioned that he's coming to GLAAWW.  I don't want to mention it to him, lest he feel obligated to come...but I'd like to have him there.

I keep thinking back to the night of our first date...How badly I wanted him...how much he cares about where we take this that he wants to wait...making me want him even more...The feel of his skin.  The look of his perfect body.  The ivory skin, the porcelain finish, the pink nipples, the hair under his...

I close the book and open my pants...I slowly bring out my raging cock and softly stroke it..."Draco..." I whisper....

THE JOURNAL OF OLIVER T. WOOD

October 6th

I returned to my home in Hogsmeade. To my mother. To my 'other' life as it were. I checked in on mum...she was working in the garden. Gratefully, she was having a good day. Not an episdoe. She's retreated the gardern often of late. It was something she and my father did every Saturday morning. They would spend the morning tending the garden. My father said that love was like a garden. It needed much dedicated care if it was gonna grow. He then left us.

I started dinner, and then joined her in the garden. We chatted about work and I finally told her about George. He was gone and had been gone for some time. She asked me how I was and I was honest when I said, "Hopeful."  She could see it in my eyes.  She knew someone knew was in my life.  So I told her over dinner about a young man, not more then 17...who was not widely reveared as someone you should trust...but that I had found a him that he did not show to the world.  A Him that only I saw and that I wanted to know him more...

After dinner, and dishes, we sat by the fire in the sitting room and she offered some simple advice.  "Love the him you know.  No the him, the world thinks they know."  I smiled...she always knew what to say.  I kissed her goodnight, leaving her to her book and made my way to bed. 

I arrived to my bedroom, and slowly started to remove my clothing...

I sit here, in nothing but a small pair of briefs and I find all my thoughts falling on Draco.  This is insane.  I feel like I can't breathe.  He takes all my breath away.  He makes the world bright and new when I'm with him.  He's like an angel walking with me...and I never feel alone when I'm with him...I often did when I was with George...George never needed me.  He just wanted me.  I wanted and needed him.  I need Draco and I think he needs me...he needs me to believe in him. The him I see that he can be...

We all need something to believe in...a light to see us through.  
We all need something to believe in...I found something to believe in, in him. 
Now that I have found him, I don't want to ever let him go.
He's the only truth I want to know...

I am scared that I'm falling in love with him too fast.  I'm scared that he'll break my heart...a heart made of glass. But I'm still willing to give it to him.

I close my journal and walk out onto my terrace.  The night air stings softly my near naked body.  I wish Draco was here with me...our bodies naked, giving eachother warmth.   I am suddenly raging hard and my cock presses the thin fabric of my underwear out so that my pubes are now exposed.  I am suddenly very angry with Draco. That he's not here to ... what... fuck me?  I shake my head laughing at my sheer manic attitude. It's time for a shower. I have a test to finish writing for my first year flyer's tomarrow.  I enter my bedroom and turn on the shower.  COLD. VERY COLD. 

It's a light rain when Oliver returns to Scotland for the last time.  The sun was getting ready to rise and the Scotish highlands were a soft grey and purple in the morning coolness.  There was a certain emptyness Oliver felt.  A sadness, yes...but also an emptiness.   Oliver would run his hands up and down his arms occasionally squeezing his muscles.  He was cold and was greatful for the jumper that was around him that wasn't his.  He hobbled up the stone steps with out problem...he had become inept at using his crutches as an extenstion of himself.

As he past his garden he looked out and picked up a small familiar object from the brush and continued up to his room.  As he entered his boyhood home, he removed the jumper and his tight black shirt wiping the morning dew from his forehead, he entered his bedroom placing the small object on his dresser...  He looked and found an OWL waiting for him on his bed.  For a moment, he was frozen in the door frame.  He crossed to it and sat on his bed and laid the crutches next to him.

He opened. He knew this writing...  He took a deep breath and began to read.  He read each line as if his life depended on it.  Tears well up in his face. An anger and rage form inside of him and he screams "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He begins to heave boxes and papers and mementos across the room in a rage and anger that he had never known.  He grabbed the photo next to his bed, the one of Fred, George and himself and sent it flying, finally hitting the dresser. 

KJ appeared at the bedroom door.

"Oliver?"
"Mum. I'm fine.  Please go get ready, the movers will be here in an hour to pick you up and our things. They will take you to the new house I have for us."

KJ looked bewildered...

Slamming his hands into broken glass on the dresser, he shoves the object into his pockets, now stained with blood and grabs the jumper and is passing her, frantically on his crutches as he calls out...

"I've something that needs to be settled once and for all..."

Seconds later, he is gone.

August 31

11:49 PM

It's a harvest moon tonight and my heart is heavy.  I stare at the ring that I bought for my love, and wonder.  I spent a small fortune as an investment not only in diamonds and platinum, but in the love and future that I want for George and I.  I wonder if perhaps that investment was not premature.

Does George trully love me? And is that love a forever kind of love.  After dinner with him and his family, I envy his life. The family he grew up with.  The strength of that unit and bond.  I also am sad.  Sad that I won't ever know that. 

I look upon Molly and Arthur and wish with all that I have that that is where I will be one day. With George in a small cottage, perhaps with children and nothing but love.

Love...sometimes love is not enough.

Perhaps its time for me to leave the loft.  I can almost walk by myself, though the twins or anyone else for that matter don't know it.